An American’s Guide to Pad Thai at Home

Step 1: Go grocery shopping without much of a plan. You may be okay with eating frozen vegetables and canned beans this week, but your wife insists on fresh food.

Step 2: Enter the ethnic isle and eye the dried pad thai noodles. You love pad thai. Surely you can cook it at home. It’s like spagehti, but with rice noodle instead of regular noodles, and peanut sauce instead of tomato sauce.

Pad

Step 3: Look up the recipe on your phone while at the supermarket. Move out of the way first. Someone’s behind you and wants to get to the taco sauce. Let’s pretend you found this one. The recipe calls for fish sauce, or oyster sauce, and white wine vinegar. You’ll never use those again. Just buy some pre-made peanut sauce.

Step 4: Let time pass, it’s time to make pad thai. Cook the noodles per the instructions on the package. They are likely slightly crunchy or complete mush. Proceed regardless. Add peanut sauce and other things you bought for pad thai.

Thai

Step 5: Throw directly into the trash. This is hard, and you are not good at this.

Step 6: Go to foodler.com. You forgot your password? That’s fine. They have steps for that.

Step 7: Order pad thai from one of the available restaurants.

Step 8: Enjoy your pad thai at home!

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