Breakfast Anytime

Breakfast is the first meal of the day – The F’ing Dictionary

As most of my friends lovingly appreciate, I don’t abide to the notion that breakfast can be eaten anytime. Your local diner can advertise having breakfast all day but there are special places in hell for liars like that, and their families.

Take this case study. Say you’re at work and you’ve just gone out to lunch with your friends. You’ve creatively chosen to eat “breakfast”; maybe an omelet. When you return your boss asks you if you ate lunch yet. Do you respond “yes, I already ate”, or the more confusing answer of “no, I ate breakfast again”? There is no good answer to this question given society’s approach to meal definition.

The literal solution to this is to refer to eggs at lunch as “foods typically associated with breakfast”. This will never catch on and is not the solution I propose. My solution is more of a food revolution that makes all foods acceptable at any time.

Why can’t you eat a hamburger in the morning for breakfast? Steak & Eggs is perfectly acceptable at Denny’s. How about a Ham & Cheese sub? An egg omelet with toast is fine. You can pretty much take any typical entree and rearrange the ingredients to be acceptable breakfast items. I’ve heard many people wish they could get an egg mcmuffin after 10:30AM but why not take that one step further. Why can’t I get a Big Mac at 7AM?

The stance on our cultures food norms is steadfast. New cookbooks written by celebrity chefs advertise either authenticity or simplicity. Why would you want either? Authentic just means someone’s cooked it before, just somewhere else, probably. Simple is just lazy and uncreative.

We’re still at a place in time where using fried potato products as condiments is laughed at. Meats beyond the cow, chicken or fish are considered gross. Has food really evolved in the past 50 years? Sure there’s cheaper and more efficient production, but the goal is to make the end product the same.

The food revolution starts now, led by me and probably featuring only me.

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